Weekend Football Favorites

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You know what the best part of football season is? It’s not fantasy football, it’s not tailgates, it’s not arguing about who should be in the college football playoff, and it’s not watching Chris Berman WHOOP! himself into a stroke. No the best part about football season is that you get to sit on your couch for two straight days and when someone asks you what you did over the weekend you get to say, “I watched football.” Boom. The entire slovenly affair of eating chips off your chest, not showering for 36 hours, and drinking 1000 beers is justified with that simple statement. If you have a weekend like that the other 8 months of the year and tell someone about it, well, then they think you’re a drunk slob. But not during football season.

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No God, why?! LSU mascot Mike the Tiger diagnosed with cancer. . .

Via BATON ROUGE, LA (WAFB):-LSU reported Monday morning that its live tiger mascot, Mike VI, has been diagnosed with cancer. Officials said Mike VI has been diagnosed with spindle cell sarcoma. They added his vet, Dr. David Baker, and veterinary student caretakers noticed swelling on the right side of his face. According to a news release, doctors determined Mike has a tumor in his face near his nose. Baker said he believes the tumor has been there for some months.”Biopsy analysis led to a diagnosis of spindle cell sarcoma, which is a malignant tumor derived from fibrous connective tissues of the bone,” the release stated. “This is an extremely rare form of cancer, but this type of cancer is unlikely to spread to other areas of the body.” Doctors said the tumor is “inoperable” and “incurable” but they will use radiation treatment to stop its growth and prolong his life. Officials said Mike’s treatment plan will consist of a new, highly sophisticated form of radiation therapy called “Stereotactic radiotherapy” (SRT), which delivers radiation to the tumor in a highly focused manner, sparing the surrounding healthy tissue. They added it is estimated Mike VI could perhaps live a year or two with the treatment, but only about a month or two without it.

Well isn’t that a Draymond Green sized kick in the nuts on a Monday? Goddamn you cancer, goddamn you. You’re going after our endangered big cats now?! I guess the good news is that they say Mike isn’t in any pain and doesn’t even seem to realize he has a tumor. Hopefully they get him this radiation treatment and he beats this thing out right. But at least it looks like he will get two more years of living that good good SEC life, staring at LSU smokes all day, and having his own private kingdom. If there is any justice in the world the Mad Hatter will lead LSU to a Natty Champ. in the next two years so they can give Mike a final illustrious moment in the sun. So prayers up to Mike VI, give that tumor hell buddy. #FuckCancer

-Mr. Jersey
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