CLEVELAND! THIS IS FOR YOU!

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champion Continue reading “CLEVELAND! THIS IS FOR YOU!”

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Tyronn Lue “Invites” The Answer to Join Cavs Coaching Staff

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Allen Iverson and Tyronn Lue had their battles over the course of their careers. Obviously everyone remembers the infamous step-over by A.I. after draining a jumper clinching game 1 of the 2001 NBA Finals as Lue laid helpless on the floor. “The Answer” even shouted him out during his emotional hall-of-fame speech, telling a funny story about how he teased the Cavalier coach, saying the only reason he got paid the following season was for “running around after me.”

TMZ Sports caught up with Lue at an airport to get a statement regarding the relationship A.I and the ex-Laker share, saying they’re like “brothers” now. Lue even went as far as to say, “he could come coach with me” when asked if the 76er legend would make a good coach in the NBA.

Source: Vibe

Allen Iverson, so hot right now, Allen Iverson. First of all, there’s absolutely no way this will happen. Not that I don’t want it to, I think it would be pretty cool. It’d be a nice way for Iverson to finally win that championship that Tyronn Lue’s Lakers prevented him from obtaining. Lue even went as far as throwing his body on the floor to prevent Iverson to hustle back on defense.*

But, the the NBA has a strict dress code for coaches. If I know anything about Iverson, it’s clearly not that his nickname was the Answer, but the guy for sure doesn’t own a suit. Did he have one on during his Hall of Fame induction? Yep. One quick trip to Joseph A. Banks, and that thing was probably left at his hotel just like his Hall of Fame trophy.

I think the only hope Cavs fans have of AI joining the coaching staff is if they invent not tuxedo tshirts, but suit tshirts. Is that invented already? Or did Coach just strike another gold mine idea and blast it out to the public again. I don’t know, I don’t fact check these things.

-Coach
@ApacheZack
@Blog30Tweets

*The fact that Lue has never trolled the internet trolls by saying the step over was in fact him just playing aggressively defensive offense is a huge let down. Seems like that’s the perfect kind of Coach hindsight joke that reporters would eat up.

In Memorandum: Robert Griffin, Third of His Name

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Robert Griffin the Third, 1 game. He played one game with the Browns and is now placed on the IR until November at the earliest. It’s quite possibly the most RG3 thing RG3 has ever done.

You have to tip your cap to the guy, just be sure and not make any incidental contact with him when you do. The man has a family for goodness sake. A well-adjusted, Subway fed, athletically gifted, sandcastle family. The waves of time, like the waves of the ocean, came crashing through on Sunday and washed away the fragile quarterback.

Continue reading “In Memorandum: Robert Griffin, Third of His Name”

Richard Jefferson “Leaked” the Cavs Championship Rings and They Are Fire Flames

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Richard Jefferson just making headlines. First, he retired on top via Snapchat, then a chaotic crowd at the parade celebration got him to commit to another year by chanting “one more year”, and now this.

Now, these are without a doubt the sexiest championship rings in the history of Cleveland, nay, the world. The raised big “C” logo, the millions of diamonds, everyone’s numbers on the top of the ring, the skyline…simply beautiful.

Richard Jeffersons snapchat is one of the funniest, best accounts out there. The guy is a fantastic follow. He correctly predicted Kevin Durant signing with the Warriors (the same Warriors who blew a 3-1 lead in the Finals), he invented Lil Kev, he proved Lebron actually drives a Kia, and he’s leaking Championship rings.

I would like to take this opportunity to formally apologize to Richard Jefferson. After watching a game earlier this year where he went 0-century from 3 point land in the first half, I compared him to a dead dolphin that died taking selfies with Buenos Aires tourists. When I proclaimed him a dead dolphin, he finished the game with like 5-pointers and then found the fountain of youth and actually contributed to the Cavs Championship run.

I’m sorry, Richard. I truly am. You sir, are no dead dolphin.

-Coach
@ApacheZack
@blog30tweets

 

 

At Least Two More Years of Kings James’s Reign

Happy Friday everybody! Lebron’s back! I know, you’re probably thinking hey Coach, he already said he was returning during the Cavs Championship parade you idiot. That’s true, it’s not as exciting as when he first announced he returned to the Cavs after he graduation from the University of Miaimi-Heat. Still, the contract he’s about to sign is more than enough for any Cavs fan to float between now and October 25th when the Cleve hangs it’s first championship banner in the Q.

Lebron is signing a 3 year deal, 100 million dollar contract. For the first time in his illustrious career Continue reading “At Least Two More Years of Kings James’s Reign”

WWWWWWWWWWWWindians Keep On Winning

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It’s 1964. You’re a construction worker in the Cleve, minding your own business, putting in the grind to provide for your wife and two kids, and the Cleveland Browns just won the NFL Championship. You’re riding high, up late at night, probably #PartyingAtNapolis, and you have to get up and go to work the next day. Those steel high rises don’t care you’re still hungover from one too many championship Carling brews, the greatest city in the world needs it’s towers. The Carling Brews still in your stomach start churning as a storm comes in off the lake…as you quickly make your way across the scaffolding to get down to the Dog Pound ground, you slip, fall and go into a coma.

52 years later you wake up and everything is the same. The people are just as happy, the Cavs won a championship, and now, the Cleveland Indians are unbeatable.

Over the past 12 games Continue reading “WWWWWWWWWWWWindians Keep On Winning”

Cleveland, the time is NOW!

AllIN

I’m getting a ton of work done today. Definitely not watching youtube videos like the one below.

NOT!

(Not jokes, so hot right now)

Deep breaths, Cleveland faithful, we can do this. We can win this. The keys to success are in our hands. This is our time. This is our moment. These are our finals.

Yes, the Warriors are scary good. If they beat us, they will go down in history as the greatest NBA team ever. But we can stop them.

What do we need to do to win? Continue reading “Cleveland, the time is NOW!”