There’s no picture, no intro, and really, no commentary necessary. The people who read this list, found on tickld, are exactly why a man like Donald Trump can run for President. It’s just awful nonsense. It’s no secret Blog:30 is like, a day away from pulling the ol’ Irish Goodbye. Hell, it could have already happened. If so, this is my swan song. This is what I want to be remembered for. Not the Cavs posts, the GoTs posts, the wildly unpopular podcast…no. I want to be remembered as the guy who did his best to get shitty lists like this off the internet and out of human beings’s brain cells.
Also, typically when we here at blog:30 (RIP?) rip apart these lists, it’s written by a woman explaining trends among males. Not today folks, here we have what I have to assume is a caveman of a male who probably watched a few too many episodes of Seinfeld and thought observational humor was his true calling.
Shitty original post here.
-If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah.
-If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Dickhead and Shit for Brains.
Nope. A thousand percent nope. The person who wrote this either has no friends or is still in middle school. Nicknames go both ways, and so does calling people by their first names. The only thing I would say guys do more often than girls when it comes to nicknames is go by their last name, but that also happens to girls too. Way to work dickhead in their though, dickhead.
-When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it’s only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.
-When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.
Who the hell does either of these things? Both guys and girls either split the bill accordingly, or someone flexes their wallet muscles and buys the whole meal for everyone. Also, pocket calculators aren’t a thing anymore dipshit, and itemized receipts are standard.
-A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
-A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn’t need, but is on sale.
Dead giveaway this was written by a misogynistic male. “Women be shoppin’, amiright? Lolz” Also, what idiot males are out there paying double for the stuff they buy?
-A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush, toothpaste, razor, shampoo, soap and a towel.
-The average number of items in the typical woman’s bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.
That’s because for some reason the women who’s bathroom you have somehow managed to sleeze your way into wants to look nice. Hopefully, they’re not getting dolled up to look nice for you.
-A woman has the last word in any argument.
-Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
Sounds like a guy who’s lost a lot of “new” arguments. Go back to whatever community college you graduated from and retake Communications 101 you dumb ass.
-A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
-A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
Yup, that’s true. All women out there are just damsels in waiting until one day they are lucky enough for a blogger from Tickld to come swoop them off their feet and plant them with their seed. Thank god for you, anonymous Tickld blogger, for saving all these women.
-A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
-A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
I typically only use this phrase in reference to Lebron James dunks, but this man quite literally has no regard for human life. I wonder how many divorces this guy has had because those tickld dollars ain’t paying the bills
-A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn’t.
-A man marries a woman expecting that she won’t change, but she does.
“Men are stubborn mules” or in this particular bloggers case, a jackass
-A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.
-A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.
Dressed up people are successful people, and what you just said shows me why you work for Tickld.
-Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
-Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
It’s their beauty trying to run away from your ugly ass.
-A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
-A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.
Looks like we found the rose bud, tickld blogger anonymous had a shitty father. Shock of the century says no one.
Then the asshole ends with this little gem:
THOUGHT OF THE DAY
A married man should forget his mistakes. There’s no use in two people remembering the same thing.
Your life was a mistake so forget you! Boom roasted.