The Challenge Rivals 3 Power Rankings: Week 9

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We jumped right into the second half of last week’s challenge where the teams had to remember bits of all the random shit they stopped up all night watching. Unsurprisingly some teams didn’t fare too well here. TJ offering up clues to the teams that were doing shitty only to hit them with the, “psyche,” was pretty ruthless but also hilarious. It’s getting close to money making time and the power teams are starting to separate from the pack. But there’s one team that’s more powerful than them all. They’re two halves of the same brain, they’ve won back to back challenges, and they are STILL your #1 teams in the rankings.

1.Bananas and Sarah (#1 last week)MTV The Challenge 28
What can I say, kings stay kings. They nailed the correct order in one try (or at least that’s how MTV edited it). For winning they each got $1000 cash money and they got to go on a little Mexican day cruise. They also got to take two teams with them on the boat. Obviously Vinny Pineapples (he’s Banana’s cousin) and Jenna (dat butt) got the call and then they picked Corey and Ashley as the second team. Bananas, ever the sneak, only picked Corey to butter him up and win his trust. In reality Johnny is planning to backstab Corey the second he get’s the chance. Johnny is still upset about Corey’s role in getting him and Vince eliminated last season. Johnny has more grudges than an old Jewish woman. At the nominations they threw Devin and Cheyenne and Jamie and Kellyanne into the Jungle.

2.  Vince and Jenna (#6 last week)

MTV The Challenge 28

Climbing back up the board this week are my personal favorites, Vince and Jenna. They did shockingly well on the memory part of the challenge. They got brought along on the boat trip which was a great excuse for Jenna to wear her, as she described it, “cheeky” bikini. Hey they can shoot the whole damn show on a boat for all I care. At this point in the season it’s pretty much these two and the Bananas/Sarah team vs. the rest of the cast. It’s never a bad idea to be on Bananas’ side but if one challenge goes wrong they could be hung out to dry. But until that happens, yay team!cheeky.JPG

3. Wes and Nany (#5 last week)
MTV The Challenge 28

Started the episode by stru-gg-ling on the memory challenge. They came in last and got the automatic bid to the Jungle. This week’s Jungle wound up being 1v1 soccer, but with blindfolds. Shocker, Nany doesn’t really possess the composure to play blindfolded soccer. After a very tough to watch few minutes (that I’m pretty sure in real time was probably an hour and a half) she did eventually win. Thus achieving the proudest moment of her life, her words not mine. Shoot for the stars Nany, even if you miss you’ll still at least get paid to show up at bars. Wes got big boy bodied by Jamie after telling everyone he has been a well above average soccer player since he came out of the womb. BUT, he redeemed himself in round 3 and kept his team in the game. I don’t care if you like Wes or not, busting out the “fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, you’re cool, fuck you,” routine was fantastic. Politico Wes is officially coming out of the cage and is hungry for Bananas.

4. Cory and Ashley (#3 last week)

MTV The Challenge 28

Bananas took them on the boat trip. Unfortunately for them that was only to lull them into a false sense of security before Bananas ultimately slits their throats. Unless they smarten up at some point Johnny is going to make them his sacrificial lambs.

5. Nicole and Dario (#4 last week)MTV The Challenge 28They didn’t remember a god damn thing but they guessed better than Wes and Nany and avoided the Jungle. Not their brightest week but at least Nicole didn’t have to face her cousin the Jungle.

6. Nate and Christina (#8 last week)MTV The Challenge 28

These two are more or less scenery. They aren’t terrible in challenges and don’t really cause that much drama but I just get the feeling that nobody actually likes them.

7. Devin and Cheyenne (#9 last week)

 All that sucking on Johnny’s banana a couple weeks ago didn’t pay off and they got thrown in the Jungle once again. But once again they drew the white skulls and escaped the Jungle without having to compete. It’s starting to get weird how they draw the white skulls every time. Is Devin a leprechaun? TBD. Devin is apparently back to being on Team Wes and is hatching plots to eliminate Bananas. Good luck with that big guy.
Eliminated This Week

Jamie and Kellyanne (#7 last week)MTV The Challenge 28

They were butthurt Bananas didn’t bring them on the boat trip, then they were reaaaally butthurt when Bananas put them in the Jungle. Hey guys, I think maybe Bananas doesn’t give a fuck about you. Soccer is a game of finesse, these two are not finesse people. Kellyanne wandered around like a blindfolded chicken with its head cut off (yea I know it doesn’t make sense) and lost round 1, Jamie used his dope dad bod to box out Wes and tied it up in round 2. TJ’s coin decided game 3 would be another guys matchup. In round 3 Jamie didn’t use his size and let Wes get out in space which ended up costing him the round and his Challenge life. I could really care less if we see either of these two again. See ya Cara Maria’s cousin, take care of that weiner!
That’s it for this week but as a special treat here’s a #TBT Vine of our boy TJ looking slick as fuck back on Cutthroat.


-Mr. Jersey

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