Red Sox Spring Has Been…Interesting

So I guess it’s pretty obvious that Mr. Cocksusker Jersey is a cockersuckin yankee fan. But what you don’t know is your boy Doc is a Red Sox Fan and instead of get all uppity about an off season acquisition kind of hitting well over like 5 games in the Spring, or excited about an alcoholic washed up ace who might be a #5, and write constant blogs about my baseball team, I’ve decided to keep it cool, calm and collected and give you a blog on all of the Red Sox news this Spring.

The Pablo Sandoval Saga

A lot has been going on with the Panda this Spring, some of which I’m completely tired of hearing (i.e., his weight, his hitting, his bad attitude with the media, etc. etc.). Yeah he’s fat, Who in their late 20’s isn’t struggling with a weight issue? I know I am.I think the media needs to stop calling him fat. His hitting fell off last year, yes but that doesn’t mean he’s complete done as a hitter. As for his attitude with the media…well I probably wouldn’t be to friendly with anyone printing headlines with pictures like this…

Fat panda Continue reading “Red Sox Spring Has Been…Interesting”


Husband and Wife Teachers in Alabama Arrested Days Apart for Separate Incidents of Sleeping with Students

Charli Parker (pictured) allegedly had sex with a male student away from school grounds and is facing 11 counts of a school employee having sex with a student. Jamie Parker allegedly had sexual relations with a former female student of the private schoolJamie Parker

Via Daily Mail: A private school teacher has been arrested for allegedly having sexual relations with a student just two days after his wife was taken into custody on the same charge. Jamie Franklin Parker, 32, who teaches math at Pickens Academy in Carrolton, Alabama, was arrested on Wednesday, following the arrest of his wife, 30-year-old Charli Jones Parker. They were both booked into Pickens County Jail and charged with engaging in a sex act or deviant sexual intercourse with a student under the age of 19 as a school employee. The two incidents are completely unrelated according to police. Jamie Parker is the head boys’ basketball coach and assistant football coach while his wife, Charli, is a girl’s basketball coach at the school. She also taught physical education, computers at the elementary school.

Where to even begin with these lovebirds? I have so many questions. Did they know about each other banging students? Was it some kind of fetish thing they both were into? Who are these students that were into having sex with these two repugnant educators? Where were they finding the time to have all this sweaty, illegal, Alabama, student teacher sex? Continue reading “Husband and Wife Teachers in Alabama Arrested Days Apart for Separate Incidents of Sleeping with Students”

Scientists believe “Planet X” may have played a role in the extinction of dinosaurs

Evidence was discovered at the beginning of this year for a mysterious 'Planet Nine' (artist's impression shown), and since then it has had scientists looking for signs that could confirm its existence. As evidence for a ninth planet in our solar system grows, a 30-year old theory about mass extinctions on Earth is resurfacing
Via Daily Mail: Yesterday, astronomer Mike Brown of Caltech, one of the scientists behind the initial announcement of the so-called Planet X, revealed he had found further evidence to support it.The giant hidden planet is thought to sit on the edge of our solar system and is 10 times more massive than the Earth, gaseous, and similar to Uranus or Neptune. Daniel Whitmire’s research suggests ‘Planet X’ or ‘Planet Nine’ triggers comet showers linked to mass extinctions on Earth. As Planet X orbits the sun, its tilted orbit slowly rotates and Planet X passes through the Kuiper belt of comets every 27 million years. This orbit causes comets to be knocked into the inner solar system. 
Ok so the theory is essentially that this supposed mystery planet has a huge orbit and only gets close to the sun every 27 million years or something. So yada, yada, yada when it comes close it screws with gravity and knocks meteors all over the place. Thus killing all our T-Rex’s. Whatever the dinosaur extinction isn’t what I care about in this story.  Continue reading “Scientists believe “Planet X” may have played a role in the extinction of dinosaurs”

Phil Jackson said fuck it and went on spring break

spring break phil

Ok admittedly he just went to some cabin the woods somewhere not Cancun, but still I can’t even blame Phil here. The Knicks are 15 games under .500 with seven to play, Porzingis is sitting out with a sore shoulder, and we don’t have a 1st round pick so it’s not like there’s any reason to sit around and get ready for the draft. I’d probably say fuck it and go on vacation too. The real reason I blogged this is to highlight that last line of Phil’s tweet. “#embrace the serpent”. Now I have a question to ask. Is Jeanie Buss on this trip with him? Because if she is the visual that his tweet conjures quickly goes from an old man doing karate by himself to something much, much, much more upsetting. I mean Jeanie is a fox for a 54 year old but I absolutely do not need to think about her #embracing Phil Jackson’s 70 year old serpent. No thank you sir, I would not like another. If something to do with the Knicks is going to make me puke it’s usually I’d rather it be the product on the floor.

-Mr. Jersey

PS: good for Phil doe.

USMNT Does what they’re supposed to do, beats Guatemala 4-0


So if you aren’t exactly locked in to international soccer right now you may not have known that tonight’s game against Guatemala was more or less a must win for the boys in Red, White, and Blue in terms of World Cup Qualifying. You read that right, a game in April 2016 was critically important to the US getting in to the next World Cup that is over two years away. Luckily, after what was clearly a nervy first few minutes, Team USA took command via the boot of none other than Mr. USA, Clint Dempsey.

Continue reading “USMNT Does what they’re supposed to do, beats Guatemala 4-0”